Whose Birthday? #1

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Table of Contents

• Introduction
• What Can We Do?
• Guidelines for Selecting Toys

Toys for Children: Giving Fish or Scorpions

INTRODUCTION

The door before me opens soundlessly, but as I walk down the entrance hall, colors on the wall- geometrical patterns in vivid, angry colors-scream at my senses. I round the corner to the display area and am completely overwhelmed by floor-to-ceiling shelves, spilling over with merchandise for children. This is Toyland, 1980s style!

My children are adults now, so I have not been a serious or consistent consumer in the toy market for more than a decade. Following my initial shock at the raucous enormity of this place, I admit to some nostalgia of walking those aisles, remembering with pleasure and pain, times when decisions about toys were an important part of my life, when the pulls between our children's programmed wants and our value-oriented perspective on their needs were often in conflict.

I am certain my husband and I were not always successful in our attempts to provide creative substitutes when we refused our children's wants. Specific toys were important cultural symbols in their world, and it was difficult to explain why we, as parents, often rejected those symbols.

My brief visit to a toy store of the 80s helps me realize what an even more difficult task the parents of young children face today. Giant shelves, stocked with violent dolls and grotesque monsters, include every imaginable accessory for creative destruction. Other shelves are piled high with perfect imitations of military and police weapons.

In the store I visit those symbols of violence, even scaled-down versions, give off an oppressive, 'almost hallucinatory atmosphere which seems to affect shoppers immediately. Children become "hyper" as soon as they enter the so-called "Super Action Heroes" section. Their shrill screams of excitement are heard throughout the store. Adults are affected, too. One woman walks up and down the aisles lamenting loudly to anyone who will listen, "There's not a single puppet in the store! Can you believe it? Not a single puppet in the entire store!"

That mother's anguished cry is real. Looking around me, her distress becomes my own. I realize that the absence of simple, creative playthings in that great toy depository is not accidental. It is a fact that speaks with authority about the world we live in, a world which fosters aggression through children's television programming and movies as well as a plethora of macho toys.

What can we do? To use words that come directly from war terminology, we can protect our children by providing them with a buffer zone. We take some risks when we do this. We will certainly encounter the displeasure of our children when we interrupt their involvement with the symbols of their world. Even more than adults, children find it difficult to distance themselves from the symbols of their culture. They are highly impressionable and easily conditioned to want what their friends have or what they see on TV. Children who are allowed unrestricted exposure to mass- media hard sell, calculatingly and carefully designed by well-planned market research, are unlikely to want anything other than what they are told to want. Therefore adults must assume some responsibility in determining when children's wants conflict with their needs.

Jesus once asked a question that may shed some light on this current dilemma. "Which one of you, if your child asks for bread, would give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, would give him a scorpion?" The answer, of course, is obvious. No loving adult would feed a hungry child on a diet of stones and scorpions.

What is a parent to do if a child asks for a Rambo doll, Transformers (robot warriors) or Tech Force robot tanks? It is not easy, but parents who say "no" to such requests are taking an important stand; they are refusing to feed their child's hunger for play on a diet of violence and savagery.

Each Christmas we are faced with questions about gift giving. What do we give our children? What is appropriate for celebrating the birthday of the Prince of Peace? When we think of it in these terms, some disciplined thinking about creative substitutes for violent toys is certainly in order.

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What Can We Do?

It is unfortunate that corporate promoters find children an easy target. Media hype and peer pressure make it almost impossible for children to prefer toys which promote reason, exploration, and sharing over toys that promote violence.

What is a caring parent or adult friend to do? Begin by carefully evaluating toys you buy. Every time you purchase a toy, your adult values are passed on to the child who receives that toy. Avoid buying toys that promote violence.

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Guidelines for Selecting Toys

• Look the toy over carefully and think about its purpose. What will the child be learning or imitating from the use of this toy?
• Read the packaging. What is the attitude toward life promoted by this toy?
• What is the toy's play value? Can it be used again and again in a variety of ways? Is it appropriate for this child's age level? Will it isolate the child In play or assist the child in social development?
• Does it help the child to develop imagination without being lost in a world of overwhelming fantasy?
• Does it assist the child in learning to cope with and bring order to the real world?
• Would I feel comfortable involved in the child's play with this toy?
• Are the concepts presented by the toy appropriate for a child?
• What values does the toy promote? Does it promote concern for the earth? Is it in tune with what I want my child to grow up to be?

(Questions taken from "Peace Through Tyranny," a brochure written by Mary Pliska of The Toy Project, Wichita Falls, Texas. Used by Permission.)

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