Archives: Whose Birthday Is It, Anyway? #6Manger Scenes and Mistletoe: What Makes a Tradition? |
People ask us at Alternatives, "What is an alternative Christmas celebration?" and "How can I establish new traditions at Christmas?"
Our Christmas celebrations are made of many elements, such as gifts, food, family and faith. As the very living of our lives reflects who we are, so our celebrations can and do express something about what we value. The shapes of our celebrations are formed by forces including custom and habit, history, advertising and economics, and our own intention and invention. To consider "an alternative Christmas celebration" or "starting new traditions" means first to reflect about how and why we celebrate as we do and what we think and feel about the various elements of our celebrating.
Some aspects of Christmastime celebrations are listed below. Using the lines on the left, rank these elements with either a 1, 2 or 3 for level of importance to you. Now rank them, on the right, 1, 2 or 3 according to how much time and energy you devote to them.
__ __ Family __ __ Faith
__ __ Friends __ __ Activities
__ __ Food __ __ Decorations
__ __ Gifts __ __ Other
Reflect on your holiday as you ask these questions, and on the lines following write down some of your own traditions:
FAMILY. Is your family involved in your Christmas planning? celebrating? Immediate family, extended family? Are there different Christmas roles for women and men? Are there different generations involved in your Christmas? Do you have to coordinate your family traditions with those of another family? Any conflicts with spouse, in-laws or ex-relatives? How much time do you spend together - hours, days, weeks? Do you travel or does family come to you? Are you happy with the balance between family and self at Christmas?
"We expect to gather as an entire family only every three or four years so the younger families can have Christmas in their own homes."
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
FRIENDS. Are your friends involved in your Christmas? In what ways? Do you share gifts, activities, meals, decorating? Do you send cards? Do they foster your friendships with others? Do you reach out to distant friends at this time?
"My family goes tree-cutting with another family."
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
FOOD. What role does food play in your Christmas? Are there special Christmas foods for you? Cookies, meals, party foods? How much time and money does food preparation take? Do you share food? With whom?
"I bake special cookies for my children's teachers and for one annual event."
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
GIFTS. How are gifts - planning, requesting, purchasing or making, wrapping, delivering, opening, paying - woven through your Christmas season? What role does Santa play in your Christmas? Does charity have a part in your gift-giving?
"In my family Santa brings only the stockings."
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
DECORATIONS. Do you decorate your home and life at Christmas? Tree? - live, cut or artificial? Wreath, greens? Advent wreath, manger scene? Candles? Ornaments? Cards?
"I put up the tree on Christmas Eve and take it down on Epiphany."
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
ACTIVITIES. What activities are part of your Christmas season? Solitary? Family? With friends? When does the season start and end for you? What kinds of programs and events - school, church, community? Religious activities? Games or sports? TV specials? Social activities or parties?
"My family likes to go on a nature walk and also go to a family movie during the holidays."
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
FAITH. How is God present in all of your Christmas celebrating, and isn't this one of the most important questions of all? What part does Jesus have in your Christmas? How is God present for you personally? As a family, community, or congregation member? In your home? In your activities, use of money and time, food, gifts?
"I read the Christmas Story before the children go to bed on Christmas Eve."
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
OTHERS. Perhaps these questions have reminded you of other elements that make up Christmas for you.
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
How has your Christmas celebration gotten its particular shape? A number of forces bring the elements of Christmas together for each of us.
Most likely family history is the main one. We learn what Christmas is about and how to celebrate it as we learn so much else, from our family. Our family Christmas provides us with numerous customs and habits - "We've always done it that way. . . ." These customs and habits can range from which comes first, church or presents? to what brand of candy goes in the dish in the hall. Whether big or small, some of them have acquired power and emotional resonance for us and we feel very attached to them. Our family history may also bring us elements from our religious heritage and from our ethnic heritage.
Our local community and our congregation also influence the traditions we adopt. From local craft fairs to annual performances of the Messiah, our celebrations embrace community and church traditions.
Advertising and the marketplace affect every aspect of Christmas and have a power and pervasiveness similar to the family's. Like the family, the touch of advertising ranges from big to small, from the promise that if you buy and give the right presents all will be well with you and your loved ones to the idea that these little green and red candies are the only thing possible for that dish in the hall.
Lastly, our own consideration about what our celebrations represent can show us the integrity, or lack of it, between our Christmas intentions and actions. "Let that which we are going to do for the holidays be done thoughtfully and meaningfully...We can stretch our imaginations so that the celebration of God's birth does honor to the Lord and strives for the peace on earth He came to proclaim."*
Go back through the elements again and ask yourself why each item is included. Is it meaningful to you? Do you do it out of choice or obligation, or both? Does it represent habit, family tradition, religious expression, commercial pressure?
Now think about the whole that these elements make. How does it feel to you emotionally? Is it spiritually fulfilling? What do you think about your holiday in light of what you know about yourself and God? Consider the two rankings you listed at the beginning - what was important to you and what took your time and energy. Which parts of your celebration are pleasing and balanced to you? Which ones are meaningless or troublesome? Which would be fine with a little reworking? Are you learning some new ways to celebrate as you use this booklet?
Making a new tradition will take a little work on your part. As you try something, be flexible and willing to experiment with it over time. It may take several years to get it just right for you.
Highlight the tradition or activity as you participate in it by talking about it. The talk will itself become part of the tradition, giving the tradition further context and power.
Remember the power of repetition - if you go carolling with friends two years in a row you have a potential tradition on your hands.
If you are adopting a tradition from some historical, religious or ethnic source, join in the strength of its already existing history. Others before you have done this very thing at Christmas, others may be doing it right now. Our traditions can connect us with our world and with our pasts.
When practiced intentionally, our traditions can bring much joy to our holiday season. This year, may your celebration have a shape of beauty and delight for you and for God.
*Alternative Celebrations Catalogue, 4th edition. The Alternative Celebrations Catalogues have extended discussions of Christmas issues and alternative ideas. See the latest, Treasury of Celebrations.
Many More Interesting Christmas Articles
This page last updated 22 October 2012
Simple Living Works! * SimpleLivingWorks@Yahoo.com
BLOG: SimpleLivingWorks.WordPress.com
| Blog INDEX
PODCAST |
Podcast INDEX
VIDEOS: YouTube.com/SimpleLivingWorks
MISSION: Equipping people of faith to challenge consumerism, live justly and celebrate responsibly // An all volunteer educational organization.