What Makes a Perfect Christmas?

Archives: Whose Birthday Is It, Anyway? #7 What Makes a Perfect Christmas?

Evaluate Your Expectations and Set Priorities

For many of us, Christmas is just too much! There is too much shopping and wrapping, too much baking and cooking, too much party-going and entertaining. By the time the season is over, we are often physically, emotionally and financially exhausted. Just what went wrong? How can we experience the peace, joy and hope promised by the birth of Jesus?

Many different feelings and expectations influence the way we approach the Christmas season. One is past Christmases. We remember cherished childhood memories, and believe . . . it wouldn't be Christmas without those special thumbprint cookies or homemade dinner rolls or embroidered stockings. We remember family outings to cut a tree and fun-filled gatherings of our extended families. These are the memories we want to share with our families today.

In addition to our own childhood memories, we are bombarded by advertisements and seasonal articles that tell us overtly or ever so subtly just how to make the perfect Christmas. You've seen the magazines with pages and pages of decadent desserts and the commercials for the latest electronic toys and kitchen gadgets. And don't forget the pressure we might feel from our family, friends and neighbors - to hang twinkling lights on our eaves and to set up a flashing Santa in our yard, to buy our children mountains of gifts so they can compare notes with the Jones' kids, to send Christmas cards to an ever-increasing list of people.

The demands seem never-ending. Pretty soon Christmas becomes a time to check items off to-do lists and to fill in the dates on our calendars. Can we stop long enough to ask ourselves, "What makes Christmas meaningful?" What will Christmas hold for us? How can Christmas satisfy the deepest yearnings of our hearts? The answers to those questions are different for each of us.

By identifying our longings and expectations and looking realistically at which of those can be satisfied by Christmas, we can better know how to experience joy and peace. Take a few quiet moments to consider your "perfect" Christmas. What does Christmas mean to you? What are your expectations?

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Examine your expectations. Are they real-istic? Do your expectations conflict with one another? Do they conflict with expectations of others with whom you usually celebrate? "We want joy, but nevertheless, we spend more time exchanging gifts and snarling at clerks, more time in supermarket gridlocks than we do walking or singing or dancing," notes Donna Schaper in the Nov./Dec. 1990 issue of The Other Side.

What activities and tasks do you participate in during Christmas? Check items that apply and include approximate time you spend on each.

GIFTS TIME

• planning giving (who and what) ____
• shopping for gifts ____
• making gifts ____
• buying wrapping ____
• wrapping packages ____
• mailing gifts ____
• planning donations to charitable organizations ____
• other: ____

DECORATIONS

• planning decorations ____
• purchasing decorations ____
• making decorations ____
• decorating outside ____
• decorating inside ____
• purchasing a tree ____
• trimming the tree ____
• taking down decorations ____
• other: ____

FOOD

• planning food ____
• grocery shopping ____
• baking ____
• cooking holiday meal(s) ____
• cleaning dishes ____
• other ____

ENTERTAINING

• planning a gathering ____
• inviting guests ____
• cleaning up before ____
• grocery shopping ____
• cooking for the party ____
• cleaning up ____
• other: ____

OTHER

• traveling ____
• buying Christmas cards ____
• signing and mailing cards ____
• volunteering for service in the community ____
• reading to children ____
• planning and participating in home worship ____
• helping with special activities at church ____
• helping with school or community activities ____
• other: ____

Review the list you just completed. Are you happy with how your time and energy are allocated? If not, why not? Which of the activities above cause you the most stress or anxiety? How do these activities relate to what Christmas really means to you? The most important part of Christmas for one woman was to have all of her family together. It wasn't until after Christmas that she realized most of her day was spent in the kitchen making the traditional Christmas dinner. Little time was left for visiting.

Dream for a moment . . . what would happen if you changed the way you celebrate? What would Christmas be like for you? for others? Would others pitch in? If you are like the woman above, you could organize your family to cook dinner together, sharing time in the process. Or you could plan a more simple meal. Would Christmas still be Christmas without three kinds of pies? You decide!

What would make the season a fulfilling and joyful time? List three.

1. _________________________________

2. _________________________________

3. _________________________________

Now look at the list you just made. What could you do to make these more a part of your celebration? Give yourself permission to adapt traditions and refocus your celebration. Talk with others about their expectations. Talk about downsizing or sharing the load. Remember the reason we celebrate. Instead of buying or making gifts, one couple gave their family and friends the gift of prayer. The sharing of love and openness which occurred permanently changed Christmas for them.

What will change Christmas for you this year? Somewhere in the midst of all the boxes and lists, the cooking and crowds, comes a special gift. Jesus is born, a gift of peace, joy and hope. "Christmas is reassurance," says Donna Schaper. "God become flesh. Heaven bent to earth. Joy come down. And not one of us had anything to do with it. We did not earn this gift. We did not extend effort to achieve this grace. . . . The star shines for everyone. Joy to the world is unpaid for, unbought." May promised peace, unearned joy and renewed hope be yours this Christmas!

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This page last updated 22 October 2012

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