Archives: Whose Birthday Is It, Anyway? #8 |
KEEPING Christmas
by Barbara DeGrote-Sorensen
"I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year."
Ebenezer Scrooge (from A Christmas Carol)
I tried to keep Christmas last year. Bought gifts early. Planned sitters for the month. Dusted off the Advent wreath. Put up the holly. Decked the halls. Played Handel's "Messiah." Sent the cards. It was a good effort.
That's why on Christmas Day, I was shocked at my response to this long-awaited Holy Day. When the alarm went off in my cold, dark room reminding me that I had promised to help the choir at the early service, I thought loudly to myself, "Will this never end!" and slammed my hand down on the alarm.
Later, much repented, I tried to untangle my feelings from that morning. Unfortunately, I had about as much success as when I tried to untangle the outdoor lights. Why all the anger? Why the "Bah Humbug" attitude when I had tried so hard to make things nice? Keep Christmas all year through? It just doesn't seem possible.
It was at this point in my confession that I was reminded of words from Psalm 127:1: "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain." (NSRV) So where was the Lord in my Christmas? How would Jesus celebrate his own birthday? Probably the same way he lived his life - simply, kindly, and with a great deal of grace.
Take a look at your definition of a "perfect" Advent/Christmas season. Write it down. Be honest about your experiences. How did you arrive at this answer? What voices have you followed? Often our expectations are garnered from television and other media rather than reality. Remember that no matter what our inner voices and the voices of our culture tell us, nothing is ever perfect, not even Christmas. But how can our celebration of Christ's birth be more meaningful and less stressful?
Maybe Scrooge had a point. Keeping Christmas all year is the only way find meaning during the season. A simple, kind and grace-filled life-style all year though. Keeping Christmas. I like it. But how to begin? Might I suggest you plug your ears.
I saw a sweatshirt a few months back that showed a cartoon character with his fingers stuck in his ears and a mischeivious expression on his face. The caption read, "I'm not listening!" As one who parents and who teaches junior high school, I found it highly amusing. "Not listening" is also an easy first step for those who are looking for "alternatives" to how they celebrate life.
We can begin to stop listening to the voices that tell us what we need, when we need it and if we've got it yet. They often lie. Those voices steal joy and replace it with a fast-paced emptiness that never gets filled. We run but someone keeps moving the finish line. People who get the most pleasure out of life are those who have shaped their lives - and, therefore, their celebrations - to match their own values and priorities. They pace themselves, listening for the still, small voice that tells them to keep it simple, be kind and share. It helps to take the pressure off. Let us celebrate with our hearts and not our pocketbooks.
Next, we can reclaim those still, small moments of the Advent season. Purchase four candles and you've bought yourself four weeks of decorating. Each evening, turn off the lights and light the candles. Add a piece to the nativity. Open Christmas cards from the day. Children love holiness. It's one of Christmas's greatest gifts - awe. Who would guess that one holy moment could replace an afternoon of Sega Genesis?
Try clearing your calendar of all unnecessary commitments. Listen for the still, small voice. Small groups of people sharing a simple meal often does more for the soul than loud gatherings where people stuff themselves for entertainment. Simple food served in a festive manner - your guests will thank you for it.
You'll hear those old voices creeping in, so be prepared. They come in the form of guilt and shame. "People will think we can't afford to do a 'real' Christmas." "They must be having marital problems." "Won't the children be disappointed?" Remember, we're not listening. We can focus our attention on Jesus. He always knew how to calm the storms and he always took care of the children.
One year at our family gathering our son, Reed, opened his first present - a harmonica. He loved it and immediately began to practice. He would have spent an hour really enjoying his present, but I interrupted him because he had other presents to open. He soon remembered what "opening gifts" was all about and feverishly tore into his other gifts. He liked them. But it wasn't the gifts that brought excitement anymore - it was the opening. When he finished he asked what so many children ask, "Is that all?"
What children need and secretly want, although they may tell you otherwise, is an evenly-paced Christmas season. Twenty minutes of ripping paper from various boxes doesn't make up for weeks of rushing and stress and foul tempers. One gift and the time allowed to cherish it offers more contentment.
Remember though, children have been listening to the same voices we have. Those voices arrive early on Saturday mornings in the form of commercials. They voice themselves through peers who have learned to measure love by the price of the gift. We need to teach them otherwise.
This year we bought some family fun for Christmas. Cross-country skis for the kids and time to enjoy them. The skis came early so gifts under the tree were small. I was worried the kids would be disappointed. They weren't. Jill loved her hat with the long point that hung down her back. Reed danced in his new slippers. Kate ran to the piano and tried out her new piece of sheet music. It was a quiet opening, but just as happy. Later we went for a ski, then warmed up with some hot chocolate.
I've learned that what children, and adults alike, really need from Christmas is a sense of the holy, a bit of beauty and time to digest all the loveliness. They need to share and hear a grateful "thank you." They need time to enjoy each other.
Consider planning for gifts that don't fit under the tree. Try focusing on the love and not the material gifts. Try to say "thank you" often. Share your joy with others. Try not to let unreasonable expectations influence the joy of the season - "plug your ears." Try to "keep it holy." It's Jesus talking now. Keeping Christmas all year through. Wishing it would never end.
--by Barbara DeGrote-Sorensen
Barbara DeGrote Sorensen and her husband David Allen Soresen (a pastor and writer) authored 'Tis a Gift to be Simple and Six Weeks to a Simpler Lifestyle.
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This page last updated 9 September 2013
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