Gifts of Ourselves

Gifts of Ourselves

This may sound frightfully naive, but I'd like to suggest that we seriously reconsider how we celebrate Christmas.

Let's start with Santa Claus - savior of the economy - who teaches the innocent to want, and calls boys and girls to his lap in department stores, saying "Let the children come unto me." I'm not advocating that we shoot Big Red and put his reindeer out to pasture. I do think, however, that we could exchange Santa's role as the god of material wealth and consumption, for the St. Nicholas, a kindly soul who anonymously gave to people in need.

I also suggest that we reconsider the kinds of gifts we give. Where is it written that Christmas gifts must be purchased? A store-bought present need not be wrong if it is appropriate. See the questionnaire on pages 6 and 7 to help decide what's appropriate.

But don't overlook all the wonderful ways to give the gift of ourselves. . . gifts we make, cook or can, renew or refinish, stitch or quilt, build or write. One Christmas, when our children were little, my wife and I received from friends a coupon good for one night's free baby-sitting. That's a gift that got used!

Just when I think I've heard of all the gifts of ourselves there could ever be, I hear a new one:

A family gave its new daughter-in-law a Family Trivia Game to help her become acquainted with her new in-laws. Clever!

A son and daughter-in-law gave their elderly mother a gift certificate for a catered dinner for her and three friends. The children cooked the dinner, served it, even provided entertainment. The gift expressed a great deal of love and sensitivity, and it gave the elderly mother what she wanted most, the companionship of the lady friends.

A grandmother, unable to be with her grandchildren on Christmas day, taped herself reading some children's books aloud. She sent both the books and the tapes to her toddler grandkids.

The possibilities are endless. There are so many creative, clever, thoughtful, meaningful gifts we can give without relying on catalogues or malls.

Giving fewer purchased gifts and more gifts of ourselves this Christmas won't be easy. Reminders that there are only so many shopping days left until Christmas are frighteningly effective. They can trigger an almost frantic compulsion to jump in the car, drive to the nearest mall and buy something. . . anything.

But don't despair. There are some practical steps we can take. First, start talking about your Christmas plans as early as possible. October 1st is not too early. Or have a family meeting between Christmas and New Years and plan for the following Christmas. Write down your evaluation, your resolutions for the next year. Keep the ideas in a safe, handy place for the following fall. Decide together what's really important and who's going to do what, so that everyone has a share of ownership in the celebration. Respect appropriate traditions from both sides of the family, so that one side does not feel resentful.

Second, resist the pressure of the media. Advertisers can't transform our Christmas Day into Consumer's Day unless we let them.

Third, think of your fondest Christmas memories and recognize that the people, not the presents, made them so special. A whopping credit card bill does not a merry Christmas make.

Fourth, try playing St. Nicholas this year instead of Santa Claus. I know one family that resolved last year to buy just two presents for each other. How carefully those gifts were chosen! Then each family member - all five of them - contributed the money they would have spent on additional presents to a favorite charity. Five Thank you cards from the charities adorned the Christmas tree. "The best part of the experience," said the father "is that the kids discovered the thrill and joy of helping the needy. It was the best Christmas ever!"

What Christmas is all about, come to think of it, is God giving the world the gift of self. Go and do likewise!

Louis Lotz served as Senior Pastor of Morningside Reformed Church, Sioux City, IA, for 18 years, until 2000. A widely published author and popular speaker, he has received numerous awards for his writing. In 1991-92 he was President of the General Synod of the Reformed Church in America.

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