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Reflections for Christmas and Advent

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Reflections for Advent and the Christmas Season

Reflections

Real Life


Reflections
and
Real Life

Reflections for Advent and the Christmas Season

by Esther Armstrong and Dale Stitt

Using These Reflections

The resources provided here offer individuals, families and other small groups a way to remember the reason we celebrate this holy season.† The reflections begin the first week of Advent and follow through the Feast of Epiphany.

Before Advent begins, make an Advent wreath.† Find a book with instructions or follow these simple directions.† Take a large, flat shallow bowl (at least 9 inches in diameter) and fill it with sand or coarse salt.† Place four purple candles securely around the edge of the bowl.† Place a large white candle in the center. Make a circle of evergreens and place them around the bowl.

You will also need a manger scene, a Bible and matches. Light one purple candle the week of Advent I; two the week of Advent II, etc. Light all five beginning on Christmas Eve.

Set aside time each week to worship, perhaps after a meal on Sundays.† Invite those who may be alone to join in your worship.

Depending on the ages of those in your group, adults may want to read the biblical reflections beforehand. The worship items on pages 14, 18, 19 and 22 could be read or sung several times. Incorporate parts or all of the Advent-Christmas calendar on pages 15-18 into worship time, especially as a discussion starter.

Read one Reflection and one Real Life experience at each meeting or read several Real Life experiences together.

Gather around the Advent wreath.† Take turns reading, lighting the candles, praying, singing and sharing feelings and ideas.

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Esther and Dale Prepare for Advent

Each year during Advent, we eagerly await the joys of this holy season.  The Advent wreath is a beautiful symbol that reminds us of God's unending circle of life and light promised to each of us. The ritual of lighting a candle as hopeful anticipation is one way of remembering those who have no family or anyone to care about them, reminding us that Jesus told us to be the light of the world.  Lighting a candle each week of Advent can help us remember Jesus' birth and the meaning of his birth in our world today.

 

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About the Reflections' Authors

The following seven new reflections are by Esther Armstrong and Dale Stitt, cofounders of the former Journey Into Freedom - a non-profit, ecumenical ministry which brings together people who hunger for a deeper relationship with God.  The focus is on both the inward journey and the outward journey, on both freedom from all that keeps one in bondage and freedom to follow God's call: to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly (Micah 6:8). Journey Into Freedom encourages each of us to name, to claim, and to live truth. The ministry engages us in the world through acts of justice, writing, offering retreats, workshops, and trips of perspective.

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Reflections

by Esther Armstrong and Dale Stitt

1st Sunday of Advent: Peace Is Within You

Isaiah 2:1-5; Romans 13:11-14; Matthew 24: 36-44

Peace has always been in short supply.  To our knowledge, there has hardly been a day in history in which humankind has been free from war.  Somewhere there are always families, cities, nations, or empires doing battle with one another.  Abuse, hoarding, dominance, hostility and war all seem to be a part of how we humans do life.  But history has shown us that violence - the absence of peace  - is not just immoral, it is also impractical.  It simply does not work.  It has never solved any problem, it never brings lasting peace.  Violence only generates more violence, war, poverty, and injustice.

Yet scripture calls us to peace.  It invites us to pray and prepare our hearts for peace; to claim and honor the peace that lies within, even in this season that is too often stress-filled.  "The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence." (Thomas Merton)

In a world that has been shaken by terrorism, greed, and war, the Advent journey of peace takes on a heightened significance.  We can talk about peace this Advent season or we can live peace.  We can:

Simplify, simplify, simplify.  Let go, let go, let go. Reduce or eliminate frenzied busyness by setting priorities, clearing schedules, avoiding meaningless rituals, and stepping out of the flood of materialism.

Practice alternative gift-giving. One of the biggest stress points of this season is the pressure to buy - to spend money we don't have or that would better be spent for other things.  When we do give gifts we can choose gifts that are in alignment with our spiritual values, such as gifts we make or bake; gifts of babysitting, cleaning our neighbors house, or home cooked meals; or gifts in the recipient's name to a valued charity.

Plan activities that enrich our lives.  Do inexpensive activities with family and friends that are designed to help connect us on a deeper level. Write prayers of peace each day of Advent! Go on a silent retreat! Attend music concerts! Make peace crane mobiles!

Breathe in gratitude by writing down five things we are grateful for each day of Advent.

Take responsibility for our negative and/or violent thoughts and actions. Remember peace begins within.  Own that both the lion and the lamb dwell within each of us.  Within us all there is both potential for great harm and great good.  We are both powerful and vulnerable, strong and weak.  The Lion and the Lamb are one.  They are not just'out there'.  They dwell within each one of us. 

Let us live peace.

Questions to ponder this first week of Advent:

 

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Second Sunday of Advent: Live in Harmony

Isaiah 11:1-10; Romans 15:4-13; Matthew 3:1-12

Advent invites us to live in harmony with one another, with our brothers and sisters, near and far. We are to live in harmony even with those we are repulsed by those we fear, hate, ignore.

We live in harmony when we invite to our tables those who are different than we are - people who live out of shopping carts; people who stand at intersections holding signs asking for work or seeking some money; people of a different religious faith, or people who have no faith; people of "strange" political lifestyles; people "different" in culture, or age or abilities.  When we begin truly to hear another's story, we will begin to see her or him as our sister and brother, as a real person, with real joys and pains.  We all have stories to tell, stories that identify who we are.  We begin to live in harmony when we place ourselves in proximity with those we don't understand, those we dislike, fear, or feel superior to - NOT to fix or change or convince them, not to give them used clothing we no longer need, not to tell them what they should believe or how they should live, nor even to build them something so we can feel good.  RATHER, we place ourselves in proximity with such people in order to be present, to listen and learn from them, to have our hearts broken into, and to have our own lives changed.

When we put ourselves in proximity to those we don't know, they can become our teachers.  They will teach us about our prejudices, insecurities, aversions, and hates. When we fail to actively engage in the lives of our brothers and sisters, we end up creating and/or believing the myths about them; we keep them in boxes of bias (which only perpetuate stereotypes); we call them names that hurt or condescend to caricatures - or worse, ignore their existence.  We fail to see them as individuals with stories to tell.

Jesus comes to those of us who are outcasts, to those who make poor choices and wallow in failed dreams.  He comes for the executive, panhandler, farmer, prostitute, superstar, prison inmate, mystic, addict, IRS agent, AIDS victim, prophet and artist. The person Jesus comes for is us.

And this Advent he calls us to love, to be of good will, and to live in harmony with one another.

Questions to ponder:

 

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Third Sunday of Advent: Release from Bondage

 Isaiah 35:1-10; Luke 1:47-55; James 5:7-10; Matthew 11: 2-11

The Jesus of first-century Israel lived and worshipped in a culture of the anticipated salvation prophesized by Isaiah, Jeremiah, Micah, and others.  We joyfully look to the coming of Christmas - angels and stars and shepherds and a manger and Christ himself - but the real focus of Advent needs to be on the two comings of Immanuel - "God with us" and the man who the baby Jesus grew to be. The promise of Advent is the story of the Jesus who walked the hills of Palestine among us, delivering a very radical, disturbing, and liberating message: Love and forgive one another.  Let nothing stand between you and God.  Live a nonviolent life.  Live in service to people who are hurting, oppressed, or poor.  Free the world from the bondage of unforgiving spirit; alleviating power, and violence.

To be set free of the bondage of violence we need to:

Non-violence is an inside job. Violence is not JUST crime in the streets or bombs in the Middle East. Violence is the neglect of people who need help.  It is the unfairness of prejudice.  It is manipulation of people and law.  It is the many faces of selfishness and greed.  We have a capacity to do great good; we also have the capacity to do great harm. We are capable of prejudice, hatred, neglect, and all kinds of ill-will. We are also capable of mercy, forgiveness, love, peace, kindness and compassion.

Forgiveness plays a huge role in living nonviolently.  As much as we seek not to participate in violence we do. We make mistakes. We allow ourselves to become caught up in the emotion of situations that propel us into negative behaviors and unintended violence.  And ugly things happen. People get stepped on. People hurt each other.  One of the most healing things we can do when this happens is to learn how to forgive both ourselves and others.

Forgiveness is at the heart of non-violence. Without it, we keep ourselves and others in spiritual bondage, shredded by distance, consumed by anger, imprisoned by the desire to get even. In the words of our mentor, the Reverend Gordon Cosby, "Forgiveness is becoming the advocate of those I have wounded deeply, becoming the advocate of those who have wounded me, and becoming the advocate of those who have wounded people I love deeply."

This Advent season we pray that the peace we ache for will begin in our own hearts, that we will set free the captives, and liberate those in bondage, including ourselves.

Questions to ponder:

 

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Fourth Sunday of Advent: God Is with Us.

Isaiah 7:10-16; Romans 1:1-7; Matthew 1:18-25

Before God we are naked. Everything shows - our beauty as well as our bumps, bruises, boils and blisters.  God knows us so intimately and profoundly that we cannot hide anything, though we do try.  Emmanuel, God with us, is always present, always calling us the beloved, always wooing us to live the gospel, to say "YES" to freedom.

God is with us when we are struck by the madness, addictions, and sickness of the world and within ourselves.  God is with us as we struggle through storms and hard times.  God is with us, giving us courage and the faithful grace to stand up to the dominating powers of this world - to speak truth and take action regarding the lies we hear, the unethical behavior we see, and the injustice done in our names.

God is with us when we question: an economic system based on competitive greed; a society structured around the accumulation of wealth; a nation with a trillion dollar credit card debt; a cultural lifestyle that destroys the environment; and a nation whose consumptive gluttony of resources helps insure that one fifth of the world's population lives in abject poverty, dying of hunger and disease.

God is also with us as we seek to live the gospel of love and nonviolence, becoming co-creators with God, cloaking the world in a tapestry of peace.

To be with God is to leave false securities (the competitive, violent ones) behind; to travel light; to deal with our own demons; to take risks in faith; to let go of expectations, ego, and entitlement.

Jesus said to follow him, to love God, to stand beside and welcome in all our brothers and sisters who do not feel safe in our community or church, to serve those we call "the least of these," to offer bread to those who are hungry, and to give to all our hearts of compassion.

God is with us this Advent as we are called to:

Questions to ponder:

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Christmas Eve: The Song of Love

Isaiah 9:2-7; Titus 2:11-14; Luke 2:1-14 (15-20)

We have been wondering... When the bombs stop falling, when this particular war is over and before the next one begins, when this season of celebrating Jesus birth is over, when the Christmas pageants are finished... will anything really be different? Will we (individuals, churches, ministries, peace and justice organizations) be better prepared and more committed to teach the way of Jesus, the way that is counter to the dominant culture, the way of love, nonviolence, justice, and peace? Will we have the courage to do what we have always been commissioned to do, that is, to live the way of love? If not, what's the point of being "church?" Or calling ourselves disciples of Jesus? Or bothering with Advent?

Not long ago we found ourselves simultaneously reading the newspaper and the Bible.  At that moment it became crystal clear that God put each of us on this Earth to love.  Love, and all that it represents, is the different way.

We grow into love by first learning to love ourselves for who we are, warts and all. We grow into love by embracing the truth that we are already loved by God.  We can't earn God's love, it just is.

Loving ourselves and embracing God's love is, for many of us, the hardest work we will ever do.  Some characteristics of love that we have experienced:

According to Jesus' example, to be present, forgiving, vulnerable, honest and compassionate is love in action.  Love seeks equality, justice, and peace through reconciliation.

The longer we stay on this journey with God, the less complicated our theology becomes.

This Christmas Eve our theology can be summed up in a few phrases:

 Love one another.

 Questions to ponder:

 

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First Sunday After Christmas (Holy Family Sunday) : Giving Birth

Isaiah 63:7-9; Hebrews 2:10-18; Matthew 2:13-23

"A time has come for the new to be born.
God is with you.
Do not be afraid.
You have been graced
by the Holy."

It is true.  We believe it...and it is also preposterous, outrageous, and scandalous! We are all favored ones graced by God. We are all pregnant with God.

Birthing a baby takes nine months. Birthing God takes a lifetime. God is always stirring, gestating, altering, and creating the new to be birthed in and through us.

While we celebrate "Joy to the world! The Lord has come," we also know that birthing the new is not all sweetness and glory.  It is hard, uncomfortable, painful work; an awesome task which needs tender nurturing and long term care.

Birthing God in our lives requires adjustments in the way we live life; new choices, new challenges constantly before us.

Giving life to the God within is costly as well as joy-filled.  It means giving up comforts and securities.  It means risk and change. It will constantly transform us in the most basic, fundamental ways.

But why bother with all the commotion of the season, if not for something new and beautiful?

Why raise such a fuss over a baby born long ago, if we don't continue to birth love?

 "What good is it that Mary gave birth to Jesus if I don't do the same?" (Meister Eckhart)

We are all called to birth the Divine, to help bring forth the dream of God:

To be people of mercy, kindness, grace, forgiveness, honesty, love, and   peace;

To seek equality and justice for ALL of God's creation;

To love God, to love God's Earth, to love God's people, including ourselves;

To cloak the Earth with love and beauty.

Can we dare to imagine what the world would be like if we ALL took seriously the call to birth the Divine?

So we pray... and we invite you to pray...

"I am your vessel, God.

Have your way with me."

Questions to ponder:

 

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Epiphany : Gift-giving

Matthew 2:1-12; Ephesians 3:1-12

We love to give and to receive gifts. Gifts come to us every day in the forms of smiles, hugs, caring words, friends, sunsets and hummingbirds. Gifts are freely given for the benefit or pleasure of another. Gift-giving can delight or burden us. We live in a materialistic society that promotes lavish gift-giving. Long before Thanksgiving, stores put up their Christmas ornaments and set out their merchandise. Lights and tinsel are everywhere.  Television commercials and ads in newspapers and magazines entice us to buy expensive gifts to express our love for the special people in our lives.

Last week I (Esther) was dredging through the pile of papers on my desk and found this anonymous quote: "Our enormously productive economy demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction in consumption." Joy, peace, and celebration can quickly be pushed aside when we become obsessed with gifts, decorations, parties, church programs, Christmas trees, travel, money, and how we are going to fit everything in. 

I used to make chaos out of Advent.  I turned this season into competition.  I tried to see how many parties I could host and attend.  I tried to outdo myself and others by decorating my home in ever more elaborate ways.  I counted the number of Christmas cards that went out and the number of cards that came in.  Somehow numbers tallied my self worth.  I bought lots of presents to give to my friends - even when they didn't want or need them. By the time Epiphany arrived I was exhausted, and burned out. I didn't do Christmas, Christmas did me!

But I have been changing how I do the holiday season by intentionally letting fall away the internal and external clutter of my life.  I slow down.  I do less. I create new rituals and more meaningful ways to celebrate the sacredness of the season.   Christmas is now my time to reflect on the gifts God and others have given me throughout the year, as well as time to reflect on the gifts I have given to others, and to God.

We love giving and receiving gifts.  We want this to be a part of our life all year round.   We love some of the holiday lights, music and food. We just don't want this holiday to be wadded wrapping paper when the holiday is over.  We don't want the holidays to consume us.

This Epiphany, we want to give ourselves a few gifts so we can be available and free to give to others.  Gifts such as: Solitude; Sabbath rest; Honesty; Prayer; Living an uncluttered, uncomplicated, uncompromised life.

This Epiphany we will give these gifts to others:

Our presence, prayers, grace, blessings, and kindness;

Faith that others can reach their highest potential;

Unconditional Love, accepting people as they are, not as we wish them to be;

Letting go, allowing the others to walk the journeys they need to walk;

Listening to the needs, wounds, longings, pains and joys of others.

Epiphany is a time to bless the world with our gifts of love, beauty, justice, harmony and simple abundant living.

Questions to ponder:

 

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Real Life

by Esther Armstong

1. What must we do in the name of peace.

At the most, she was seven years old.    She kept chanting, "please Auntie, just five rupees, only five rupees, please Auntie."  

There are millions of beggars in Calcutta.  I had successfully ignored, out-dodged, and outmaneuvered, many of them - but not this one.  This one wouldn't go away.   She wouldn't get out of my face.  She was persistent. 

Something about this beggar child was different.  She still had a sparkle in her eye.   She was dirty, but not all that dirty.  She looked pathetic, but not all that pathetic. 

And then . . . from the corner of my eye I saw her... an older woman.  This woman was this child's teacher. She was grooming her and preparing her for her life's vocation: To be a professional beggar.  "Please Auntie, just five rupees."  (Five rupees equals 14 cents).

Do I give it to her?  Will the older woman feed this child with the money?  What will happen to the little girl if I give it to her? What will happen to this little girl if I don't? 

I walked on silently saying, "Oh please child, just get out of my face." I had no peace in my heart that day.

* * *

2. Live in harmony. Stand in proximity with your brothers and sisters.

We were on a Trip of Perspective to Haiti.  We gathered in a small circle at the home of our friends.  When one of our participants shared that he had wanted to visit for a long time and 'do something' for Haiti, our Haitian host who more than loves his country responded:

"Yes, you should come!  And then go home and invite all the people of the world to charter flights, rent boats and create a civilian invasion.  Let them come by the hundreds to stand beside the Haitian people and say, 'This situation is finished.'  Let the people come from all over the world.  Let the boats carry people TO, not carry refugees FROM, Haiti.  If two or three thousand come to stand with us and say, 'There must be an end to this injustice,' then the United Nations or the Organization of American States would not need their weapons.  This is the greatest philosophy on earth, to come and stand in solidarity with your sisters and brothers.  People like you can do this, and in doing so, you are fulfilling (your human) mission...to set at liberty those who are bound. If you have come here to 'free me,' I feel sorry for you, but if you believe our freedom is tied together then we can work together to be free."

* * *

3. Released from bondage and forgiven

Our last day in Haiti, just before entering into a day of silence, we spoke with Father Roger DesÏr.  We asked Father DesÏr, "Where is the hope in this very volatile, desperate world of Haiti?" 

Without a moment's hesitation he answered, "The hope is that we in Haiti believe that in the end, God is on our side.  In the end God is on the side of the poor."

We entered silence wondering, "If God is on the side of the poor Haitian person where does that leave us?  We are neither poor, nor Haitian.  Could it be that God is not on our side?  After all, Jesus said, 'Blessed are the poor' - NOT 'blessed are those who come to be with the'poor.'"

We came out of silence in time to share communion before departing Haiti, and as we took the elements that represent the body and blood of Christ, it hit us that "this" is what the Eucharistic table is all about.  It is about believing that in the end God is on our side.  It is about believing that: No matter what has happened to us, no matter what sin we commit, who we have betrayed or oppressed, who likes us or who doesn't, or whether our skin is black or white, we are called to the table and forgiven.  We are invited to the table so all people can become one body in and with God.

Yes, we do believe that God has a special place set at the table for the poor.  We also believe that God has a special place set at the table for the rest of us who are called to work for justice, to right the wrong and "set the captives free."  In the end God is on the side of God's people.

* * *

4. Peace is within you.

We were enjoying the gardens with our friend Motee in Bombay, India when Motee turned to me and said, "It's a puzzle I live with.  I suppose you might call it a paradox.  You live in a Christian country.  Yet you have the highest crime rate in the world.  You have the highest percentage of people in prison.  Everyone seems to sue everyone else for nearly everything.  Your malpractice rates are high.  Your rate of abortions, infant mortality, suicides are steadily climbing.  You are constantly at war while you talk about peace. How do these facts relate to the teachings of Jesus?"

"I don't know," I whispered.  "Perhaps you have made an erroneous assumption that being a Christian is the same as being a follower of Jesus."  We walked on in silence.

* * *

5. The Song of Love

They told me he was eight months old, yet he weighed only a few pounds.  He looked dead.  A pile of bones with a thin layer of skin stretched over them. Every now and then some part of his body would twitch and I knew that life was still in him.  I looked at the bracelet around his limp wrist.   It had only the date he came in and his age.  No one knew his name.  I began to call him "Baby Bones." 

I picked him up to feed him.  He sucked eagerly like a baby kitten at it's mommy's breast.  Less than a minute later, he could suck no more.  He no longer had the strength to eat.   I wished I had an eye dropper so I could squirt the food in his little mouth just like I use to do with baby kittens.

Where did this baby boy come from?  Why was he given life in the first place?  I symbolically anointed his head with oil and asked Jesus to give him peace.

Returning to the Missionaries of Charity Home for Malnourished Children the next day, I found "Baby Bones" hooked up to a feeding tube.  I wondered why.  It seemed so obvious to me that he was only a few hours from death.  Why not let him get on with it, I wondered.

I asked this question of the volunteer doctor.  He took my hand and led me to another room.  He pointed to a crib where a tiny, but vibrantly alive, little girl was standing.  "She too looked dead when she came to us, and tomorrow she will go home. We are to love them into heaven or into life."

I felt ashamed.  Had I wished the baby dead for my own comfort?  I went back to his crib and gently rubbed his paper thin skin. 

This was my last day at the Home for Malnourished Children.  I don't know if the baby died.  I suspect he did.  But during his short life he taught me that where there is life there is hope.  Where there is hope there is faith. And where there is faith there is love.  I want to always error in the name of love.

* * *

6. Birthing God's dream of equality.

We had many conversations while on our Trip of Perspective in Calcutta, India, on whether we were rich or not. My processing went something like this. 

In many ways we are all rich.  In many ways we are all poor.   There are those who are materially wealthy while spiritually poor or spiritually wealthy while materially poor.

But let's not kid ourselves.  There is a huge discrepancy between the haves and the have-nots.  And until we are willing to start giving up our "right" to have everything we want, use all the resources we want, and start a systematic way of giving to the have-nots, the disparity between the rich and the poor will not change.  We can play all the head games we want with these words. We can resent the use of these words to categorize, and polarize people. 

But the truth is, I am rich and that lady living on the street, outside my hotel window, is poor.  If I get sick, I can fly home to quality medical care.  If she gets sick, she will die.  If I want to advance myself, I can accumulate more degrees.  If she wants to advance, she will have to fight for, and stake out a better corner to live on.   If I want a new dress, I can charge it.  If she wants a new dress, she will wait until she can beg, barter or steal it. 

I must not play games with this one, I am a very rich woman.

* * *

7. The Gift

We had known Prosler for a few years before he invited us and our group of eight to his home to meet his family.  They lived in Cite Soliel - a city literally built over a garbage dump.  In Haiti less than 20% are-"formally employed"; the minimum wage is 72 gourdes per day (which currently equals $1.71 US); 75% don't have access to safe drinking water; every 5 minutes one child under the age of 5 dies from malnutrition, diarrhea or lack of medical attention; and life expectancy is less than 50.  The family of 11 greeted us with great warmth in their 14 by 14 foot living space.  We sat down, feeling the awkwardness of the moment. 

Then Prosler's mom offered each of us a whole bottle of coke - and tears just started running down our checks because we all knew that these cokes cost more than she would earn in a whole week.  We drank the cokes because that was her gift to us but we have asked ourselves many times since - would we offer a stranger or any guest at our home something that cost us our weekly wage?

 

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Page updated 11 Sept. 2013

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