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Christmas Traditions That Work For You

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Christmas Pack #15
Reclaiming Christmas

Christmas Traditions That Work For You

Index for this Section

Christmas Traditions That Work For You

A Discussion Guide

Christmas celebrations are made of many elements, such as gifts, food, family and faith. As the very living of our lives reflects who we are, so our celebrations express something about what we value. The shapes of our celebrations are formed by forces including custom and habit, history, advertising and economics, and our own intention and invention.

Use this discussion guide as you consider the many traditions of your current Christmas celebration. To consider starting new traditions means first to reflect on how and why you celebrate as you do and what you think and feel about the various elements of your celebrating. Use the guide with an adult study group or a Sunday School class. It is designed for an hour-long session but can easily be adapted for a longer time. Provide a copy of this piece for each participant. You will need a facilitator/reader for the session.

Opening Reflection

Gather the group and read the following: "Let that which we are going to do for the holidays be done thoughtfully and meaningfully. . . . We can stretch our imaginations so that the celebration of God's birth does honor to the Lord and strives for the peace on earth He came to proclaim." Suggest that everyone reflect in silence for a few minutes on the Christmas traditions that are most meaningful to them. After a few moments of silence, read aloud the following background reading or encourage group members to read it silently to themselves.

Background Reading

Tradition is the framework on which our Christmas celebrations are built. One definition of tradition is "a long-established custom or practice that has the effect of an unwritten law." There are many aspects of Christmas celebrating that are shaped or affected by tradition. Among these are family, friends, food, gifts, decorations, activities and faith. Tradition influences what we consider to be special Christmas foods, whether we open our presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, when we put up our Christmas tree, whether we have a manger scene, and many other celebration details.

How has your Christmas celebration gotten its particular shape? A number of forces bring the elements of Christmas together for each of us.

Family history is probably the main one. We learn what Christmas is about and how to celebrate it as we learn so much else, from our family. Our family Christmas provides us with numerous customs and habits - "We've always done it that way. . . ." These can range from which comes first, church or presents, to what brand of candy goes in the dish in the hall. Whether big or small, some of them have acquired power and emotional resonance for us and we feel very attached to them. Our family history may also bring us elements from our religious heritage and from our ethnic heritage.

Our local community and our congregation also influence the traditions we adopt. From local craft fairs to annual performances of the Messiah, our celebrations embrace community and church traditions.

Advertising and the marketplace affect every aspect of Christmas and have a power and pervasiveness similar to the family's. Like the family, the touch of advertising ranges from big to small, from the promise that if we buy and give the right presents all will be well with us and our loved ones to the idea that these particular little green and red candies are the only thing possible for that dish in the hall.

Lastly, our own consideration about what our celebrations represent affects which traditions we choose to highlight.

Discussion I

  1. Share the traditions that came to mind during the opening reflection. Have you modified these in any ways over time?
  2. Can you think of other aspects of Christmas celebrating besides those mentioned above?
  3. Do some of your Christmas traditions seem like unwritten laws?

Activity

Each participant should use this activity to think about her or his Christmas celebrations. There will be time later to discuss thoughts and findings.

1. Some aspects of Christmastime celebrations are listed below. Using the lines on the left, rank these elements with either a 1, 2 or 3 for level of importance to you.

_______   _______ Family

_______   _______ Faith

_______   _______ Friends

_______   _______ Activities

_______   _______ Food

_______   _______ Decorations

_______   _______ Gifts

_______   _______ Other

2. Reflect on your holiday as you ask these questions, and on the lines following write down some of your own traditions:

FAMILY. Is your family involved in your Christmas planning? celebrating? Immediate family, extended family? Are there different Christmas roles for women and men? Are there different generations involved in your Christmas? Do you have to coordinate your family traditions with those of another family? Any conflicts with spouse, in-laws or ex-relatives? How much time do you spend together - hours, days, weeks? Do you travel or does family come to you? Are you happy with the balance between family and self at Christmas?

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FRIENDS. Are your friends involved in your Christmas? In what ways? Do you share gifts, activities, meals, decorating? Do you send cards? Does sending cards foster your friendships with others? Do you reach out to distant friends at this time?

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FOOD. What role does food play in your Christmas? Do you have special Christmas foods? Cookies, meals, party foods? How much time and money does food preparation take? Do you share food? With whom?

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GIFTS. How are gifts - planning, requesting, purchasing or making, wrapping, delivering, opening, paying - woven through your Christmas season? What role does Santa play in your Christmas? Does charity have a part in your gift-giving?

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DECORATIONS. Do you decorate your home and life at Christmas? Tree? - live, cut or artificial? Wreath, greens? Advent wreath, manger scene? Candles? Ornaments? Cards?

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ACTIVITIES. What activities are part of your Christmas season? Solitary? Family? With friends? When does the season start and end for you? What kinds of programs and events - school, church, community? Religious activities? Games or sports? TV specials? Social activities or parties?

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FAITH. How is God present in all of your Christmas celebrating? What part does Jesus have in your Christmas? How is God present for you personally? As a family, community, or congregation member? In your home? In your activities, use of money and time, food, gifts?

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OTHERS. Perhaps these questions have reminded you of other elements that make up Christmas for you.

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Go back through the elements again and ask yourself why each item is included. Is it meaningful to you? Do you do it out of choice or obligation, or both? Does it represent habit, family tradition, religious expression, commercial pressure?

Now go back to the list in Activity 1. Using the lines on the right, rank the elements 1, 2 or 3 according to how much time and energy you devote to them.

Discussion II

  1. Consider the two rankings you listed at the beginning - what was important to you and what took your time and energy. Are your rankings consistent or inconsistent?
  2. Think about the whole that these elements make. How does it feel to you emotionally? Is it spiritually fulfilling? What do you think about your holiday in light of what you know about yourself and God?
  3. Which parts of your celebration are pleasing and balanced to you?
  4. Which ones are meaningless or troublesome?
  5. Which would be fine with a little reworking?
  6. Do any themes or patterns emerge in the group's celebration traditions?

Closing Prayer

Gather the group and share several minutes of silence. Close with the following prayer:

O God, who offers us at Christmas a meeting of heaven and earth, a glimpse of past and future, a moment of continuity and change, this season help us create a celebration shaped with beauty and delight, in our eyes and in yours. Amen.

Notes


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Page updated 11 Sept. 2013

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